Strawser Family Fun!: 1...2...3...

Kids say the funniest things!!!

Jacie: I think if God didn't make me a little girl, I would have been an alarm clock.

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Jacie: Where am I in this picture?

Mom: You weren't born yet.

Jacie: What?! You mean I was dead? That's terrible!

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Jacie: Mom, I will say 'aw man' instead of saying dammit okay?

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Cavin: Mom, isnt it amazing how incredibly beast I am?

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Cavin: I need to LIVE lacrosse mom, it's the only way to play.

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Jacie (in a total panic!): Mommy!! I cant go to the party cuz I cant find my pretty dancing shoes! I think the monkey took them on accident!

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Cavin: Hey mom, when I am 18 I will be a grown up. And that means that I NEVER have to eat stuffing again!

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Caden: Mommy, come look! this spider is pretty, it has a red spot on it

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Cavin: Hey mom, did you see GreatGrandma when you were in CA?

Me: Yes, we sure did

Cavin: She's still 90 right?

Me: Yes, until October

Cavin: okay, cause when she is 99 she will be dead

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The Doctor at the ER: You are being such a tough little boy.

Caden: Yea, that's cause I worked out today!

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Caden: It is taking FOREVER to get to the 100th day of school.

(this comes after they have missed a full week because of weather!)

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Me: I have to go to Target and get diapers for your sister. Do you boys want to come with me? Or go play next door?

Caden: Why dont you just plug in the vaccuum for us and leave us here? We can clean the upstairs while you are gone.

(Oh, so tempting! A 4 and 5 year old are allowed to be home alone right???)

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Chris: (about Batista) That guy is frickin HUGE

Cavin: (with a look of panic on his face) Aww...daddy said that word we arent allowed to say

Chris: What word?

Cavin: I cant tell you, Im not allowed to say it!

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Caden: We learned about Martin Luther King Jr today at school. Did you know he had a dream? Not the kind like when you are sleeping, but when you want something to happen. We had to write a dream.

Chris: What was your dream?

Caden: I dreamed that one day I would have a nice dog.

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Cavin: You drive me bananas!

Caden: You drive me bananas!

Cavin: You drive me bananas!

Caden: You drive me bananas!

Cavin: You drive me bananas!

Caden: You drive me fooking bananas! - Alright...time for mom and dad to jump in. Apparently it's time for a conversation about words we do not use. Whether he pronounced it right or not is NOT the point!

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Cavin: I really dont like that blue team. They kicked me in the head.

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Caden: If I ever go to a Red Sox game, I will put my head down the whole time. I won't even look up to watch them.

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Cavin: Can I have another Rice Chrismas Tree?

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Cavin: Mom, can I go fishing

Me: No buddy. It isn't safe back there without a grownup (the pond across the street)

Cavin: Caden is more grown up than me. I will have him take me.

Me: No. You need an adult to take you. Not just someone older than you.

Cavin: Fine...now I will be hungry since I won't have any fish for dinner!

(Mind you, he did this AFTER we had already eaten dinner! - not that I would have let him eat pond water fish!!!)

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Caden: Dear Jesus, I'm sorry that they hung you on the hook. But don't worry...you got down and were alive again.

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Cavin: GOD Makes apples right?

Caden: Yeah, don't you remember Eve and Adam?

Cavin: But he doesnt always make them

Caden: Yes he does

Cavin: No, when he gets tired and doesnt have time to plant and water the apple trees, he just goes to Super Target to get them.

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Cavin: Alivia isn't my girlfriend anymore

Mom: Aw, why not? (not that he needs a girlfriend at 4 years old, but I play along with the whole thing)

Cavin: I dont know, she just said she isn't my girlfriend anymore Mom: I'm sorry. That's sad. What about Maddie? She's a cute little girl.

Cavin: No.

Mom: Why not?

Cavin: I will only ever love Alivia.

(Let's all hope Alivia is around in 20 or so years. Otherwise, poor Cavin will be alone forever!)

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Mom: Caden, before you mop the floor we have to sweep up the dirt.

Caden: Why?

Mom: Well, what do you get when you mix dirt and water?

Caden: Hmm...dirt and water? you get flowers!

(and I was just trying to hint that I did NOT want mud on my floor)

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Caden: When I play soccer this season, it is okay to be on the Scorpions because the Scorpions are a cool team. When I am bigger I can play on the United. But when I play t-ball this season, they better not put me on the Red Sox. I will not play if I'm on the Red Sox. Jacob won't play either.

Mommy, will it take a long time to get to my practices in New York?

(This kid really thinks he is going to be a NY Yankee someday. I guess letting him dream wont hurt anything!)

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Caden: Hey mom...Grandma is up in heaven right?

Mom: Yes, that's right.

Caden: Oh, so she knows Babe Ruth! 'cause he's dead too. That's so cool!

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Cavin: Mommy, why is that guy standing in the street with only one leg?

Mom: That man is homeless. He is trying to collect money so he can get food and a place to stay.

Cavin: He needs to go to work. (Good point Cavin!)

Mom: It looks like he is hurt. He might not be able to work. But since he doesnt have a house, he has no where to go. So he stands on the street collecting money.

Caden: I know! He could live with the penguins!

Cavin: Yeah! (I'm not sure if Cavin knew where he was going with that statement)

Mom: What do you mean he could live with the penguins?

Caden: Where the penguins live, there is a lot of snow. He could build an igloo. Igloos are free. And he could eat fish. It's dangerous to stand in the street.

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Mom: You guys get to wear your new election shirts today. It's election day.

Cavin: What's lection day?

Caden: Oh, I know. Mommy has to pick the new guy in charge of America

Cavin: But Ms. April is in charge of Children America

Caden: Not Children America, just America, you know...the flag with the red and the blue and the white

Cavin: yeah, i know

Mommy: There is going to be a new president

Caden: Yeah! A new gold dollar!

Cavin: Can I have a dollar? I can buy ice cream.

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Chris - you will like this...this is the conversation the boys had last night...

Cavin: I'm going to 'raq with daddy.

Caden: You can't go. It's only for grownups and army-men.

Cavin: I'm and army man.

Caden: You're just a pretend army man like Joe. (I think he was referring to GI Joe)

Cavin: See, I have a gun and a hat! I'm an army-man. I'm gonna shoot the badguys with daddy in 'raq.

Caden: Ugh, when you are 4 you will understand. I'm 4.

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All in one day...

Cavin:

"Thank you for tying my shoe"

"No one ever helps me when I need you to help me."

"Thank you for my ice cream cone"

"You never let me take ice cream home."

"I love Chick-Fil-A, can we eat here again tomorrow"

"You never let me eat at a restaurant."

"Can you open my new Legos?"

"You never buy me any toys."

"You never do anything for me."

Poor kid. What a miserable life!

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Chris: "If you eat all of your dinner tonight - you can have dessert."

Boys: "What are we having for dessert?"

Chris: "It starts with M and ends with M."

Cavin: "Yeah!!! We are having pudding!"

Strawser Family Fun!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

1...2...3...

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